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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27890299">i have never felt the difference</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/eatenpickelsticks/pseuds/eatenpickelsticks'>eatenpickelsticks</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Dream SMP Lyric drabbles [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF, mcyt</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Hurt No Comfort, Hybrid Technoblade, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Sad TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), exiled tommy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 16:21:26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,026</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27890299</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/eatenpickelsticks/pseuds/eatenpickelsticks</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>he wants to go back, to tubbo, but tubbo doesn't want him.</p>
<p>tommy is all alone, again.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Toby Smith | Tubbo &amp; TommyInnit, Tommyinnit &amp; Wilbur Soot</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Dream SMP Lyric drabbles [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2021692</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>399</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>tommy's steam fucking ended me sjsjsjsj i wrote this write after shsh</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Tommy hates that it's raining. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He gets fucking soaked, in this fucking boat crammed with Dream and Wilbur warm at his back.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It's quiet, as the waves drag them in the water, carrying them to god knows where.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He can't bring himself to think about Tubbo, but it's all that is in his mind. The way he just, he didn't, he didn't care.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He remembers holding Tubbo after the festival, stuck together to the point it was like they were attached. HE was so much bigger than Tubbo, he could curl around his body. His friend would wake him up with his crying, sometimes screaming multiple times in the night, and Tommy-</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He just held him closer, singing him a song that Philza had sung him, and gods. Where is Phil right now? Where is his dad?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Dream drags him out of his thoughts and out of his boat. Tommy doesn't even know what is coming out of his mouth, and he just claws at Dream's hands.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He doesn't want to be here, he wants to go back, he doesn't want Tubbo to hate him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Dream just picks him up like it's nothing, holding his arms down, and Tommy can't get out of it.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He starts to panic, but Dream doesn't seem to care, just facing forward with his mission.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>To exile Tommy. On Tubbo's order.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Tubbo. Tubbo. Tubbo.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Dream trips as Wilbur steps in front of him, his arm out in front of him, glaring at Dream.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"This is far enough for our vacation, thank you Dream." Wilbur's voice was soft, and he still wasn't used to it. Used to his brother's voice sounding like the slide of a blade across his neck, an explosion. His brother sounded,</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>like he used to. and he was dead now. tommy just wants everything to go back like it used to. and it was his fucking fault, he should've just listened to tubbo, and he starts to stop a sob from coming up his throat.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"You can't tell me what to do, Wilbur. You are dead." He still drops Tommy to the ground, who immediately tries to wipe the tears from his eyes. Failing to do so intirely.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Thank you, you can leave now." To Tommy's utter astonishment he did, but he paused for a moment, turning back to Tommy with that stupid mask.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He wrapped his coat around him, he's never seen the man without it, then teleported away with a flash of an ender pearl.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>all he can hear is the sounds of the rain, it was pouring.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>tubbo like the rain, they would watch it together. tubbo's back to tommy's chest. his head buried in tubbo's neck. he was so warm, so unbelievably warm.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Tommy wants to go back home, but he doesn't know where that is anymore, and Wilbur hovers over him as he cries. He can't feel Wilbur touching him, can't feel anything with how unbearingly cold it is. Couldn't feel Wilbur if he wanted to, his brother was dead.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He wraps his arms around himself and he leans over, his throat hurting from how long he's been sobbing, and he can't stop shaking.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>he wants to go back to tubbo.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>tubbo doesn't want him there, he hurt tubbo.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The thought makes him cry harder. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I'm sorry." Tommy says but it's garbled, because he can't get his shit together. He repeats the words over and over again, maybe if he says it enough it'll mean something.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>...</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>someone is running through the lands, faster than he has in years.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>as soon as he gets to an area with rain, he starts flying.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>10:01 - wilbursoot whispered to you: where are you</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>10:07 - wilbursoot whispered to you: i can't move him, i'm scared</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>10:23 -wilbursoot whispered to you: i think he passed out he won't answer</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>he told him, he fucking told him. but he didn't think it would be like this. tommy adored tubbo, maybe more than his own brothers. more than him defintely.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>and he didn't care, he didn't but fuck-</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>he didn't care, but it didn't stop him from typing before he could help it, he's tired of playing this game they have. </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>10:26 technoblade: if my brother is hurt in anyway, i will come for every single person in this server.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>...</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. A child in all these labels</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>tubbo doesn't want tommy to go.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>it was supposed to be a oneshot. it was supposed to be a oneshot. it was supposed to be a oneshot. it was supposed to be a oneshot. it was supposed to be a oneshot. it was supposed to be a oneshot. it was supposed to be a oneshot. it was supposed to be a oneshot.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tommy is everything to Tubbo. He's his friend, his best friend, he's his anchor. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>tommy feels so safe. so natural.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It leaves his mouth before he can help it, the word selfish.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Tommy has never been selfish, but he doesn't take it back. Tommy needs to realize, needs to think-</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>tommy would die for him, would die for anyone. and he only has one life, but's it like it doesn't matter to him. he's so close to death and it's scares tubbo. no one listens to him, no one ever does, he's always been someone who lets everyone push him around.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They never talk to him, never ask him what he thinks, and he's the president of this place. It's just a title, but he's supposed to be leading. Everyone goes behind his back anyway and,</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>tommy did, too.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Tommy is his best friend, he would die for Tommy, he can't live without him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>tommy doesn't care enough to listen to him, but tubbo hangs off tommy's every word. it's not fair. tommy is the reason he's president in the first place.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>So for the first time in a long while, he speaks over Quackity and Fundy, he screams his opinion. Feeling in charge since he became President.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Then, he thinks of Tommy getting shot over a stupid war and a disc, and he looks Tommy in the face. And he exiles him from the place he just got back, the place they lived together. They've always been together. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He watches Dream escort Tommy away, and he wants to cry. He doesn't even lie to himself to say he made the right choice. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>Things have power until you take it away.</strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I'm sorry Tommy." But his friend is gone by the time he can bring himself to say it.</p>
<p>...</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>might be a drabble lmao, probs not gonna be another chapter. :D maybe a chapter from tubbo's pov</p></blockquote></div></div>
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